Running Fox Papers
Volume 4, number 25 ~ October 2004 ~ Forgiving
To forgive someone liberates.
Forgiving someone out of the heart is to free someone. We are liberating the other of a negative bond that exists between us.
We say: “I am not offended anymore by your insult.”
But there is more. We are liberating even ourselves of the burden of the “being offended”. As long as we don’t forgive the other who has hurt us we carry, no, drag the other with us like a heavy load. The danger is that our anger clings to him, and we will only keep seeing ourselves as his victim.
Forgiving is thus not only liberating for the other, but also for ourselves. Forgiving is the way to the freedom of Gods’ children.
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When my first Running Fox Papers was published November 2001, the subject I chose was forgiveness. Not long ago I was contacted by one of my readers through a dream. Noh-Rah, from the Dutch speaking part of Belgium, e-mailed her article one day later and it is wonderful, about the essence of forgiveness, the process of forgiving. You can find it in this newsletter.
When I read her article, I realized that I had not come to the core of the matter in the first newsletter. Also it is possible that my inner Be-ing has taken the next step on it’s learning path that it set out for itself since then. Anyway, I figured that described in a different way, aspects of life can give hints to this insight. That is what I want to share with you today.
Over and over again we experience things that would justify forgiving the ‘other’. Often we can’t or will later, but isn’t it so that the ‘other’ is part of ourselves?
When we have the courage to forgive, we don’t just help the other, but ourselves as well and the cosmos to take the next step on the path we are all walking.
Noh-rah says the following about this: ‘Often have we ‘seen’ that when we let go of matter, forgive, everything is really solved. To obtain insight we will then do by Seeing In. We see Inside ourselves by going in. Inside there we see that all we have often trouble with accepting is no more than reflections. The other is acting as a mirror for us and shows us what we still have to learn. Am I right when I tell you that we can only understand – and thus forgive- what we can experience ourselves?’.
Still once in a while you can be as lucky as to get a taste of something and understand it without having to experience it. Maybe that experience has come to us in a different way.
Noh-rah says: ‘Maybe we simply ‘re-member’ what was deep in our memory?’
Then, looking at it from this angle, we have gotten to the core. At this point it is tempting to loose oneself in all kinds of theories, but it is better to give some examples.
Off course I first send you to the article by Noh-Rah, which describes the evolution in the communication with her father in a moving way. Then Myriah Krista Walker has described a leaf’s process of letting go (ours) in her beautiful story, the leaf finally discovers that the ultimate forgiveness happens when we let go of old feelings and the circumstances that had caused them. That we didn’t want to say goodbye to the past and caused us to be in our own way to forgiveness.
Finally there is the story that actually
has been written by our daughter Judith after she died. It is a loving
message of someone who has only been on earth for nine months, in her
mothers lap and who takes us to the place ‘beyond the veils’, where
she is at this moment. From that perspective she teaches us to cope
with forgiveness in a loving way.
Myriah Krista Walker
Time to center. Breathe deeply, like a leaf held fast to tree as Autumn Winds blow through the forest.
You are high up in the tree, clutching firmly. The tree is familiar. The tree is your mother/father. Here is where you first budded open to the Light, and saw the Sun.
Upon this tree you felt yourself stretch into newness as you budded into the Leaf You Are. There were many leaves upon the branch then. There was excitement in the Air as life burst forth anew, and the at-moss-sphere was filled with spring green.
This branch held you firm and safe while spring rains and hail beat upon you, making you cold and wet and alive as you clutched a jeweled droplet of rain within your folds, for as long as you could. You love the wet.
This branch held you firm while Summer Sun heated you up, and Summer Winds teased and made you laugh and sing and shimmer with other leaves.
Door: Noh-Rah; 5 juni 2004
My time has come again, literally My Time. Time I need to reflect once in a while, to go inside and cleanse my body and mind. You know, sometimes you are kind of forced to come to your senses starting from your feelings, going through Silence and Separation and coming to yourSelf. When that time has come, I also draw my Boundaries.
Then I politely tell my family and friends: 'thanks for the offer, but now I take time for myself. 'By being on your own, you listen to what happens around and with the whole of your heart. You set your mind straight, something you often don't get around to because of busy weekdays. You get in-sights in all kinds of growing processes that are going on.
I haven't heard nothing or
nobody yet today, except for the Voice of Silence. A Voice
Forgiveness is a concept that has many aspects. You know all too well yourself daddy, that it has been very difficult for you and mummy to accept that I - the soul that has been Judith such a short period - was there and suddenly wasn't there. [Judith came to this earth and left again on the same day] That has caused you both a lot of grief, similar to other situations. Next to the sadness, it causes anger, disbelief, amazement and a great deal of other emotions that are hard or not explainable at all.
That is more than understandable. Especially the mother, who has carried her child against her heart in her own body for nine months, who has given the child food and attention, ho has had to go through the labor. That mother is suddenly robbed from something she looked forward to so intensely. It is an enormous shock for her that all went differently than thought.
The father and if there are brothers and
sisters they too get their share of the trauma that dying in general
and the dying of a baby especially brings along. Partir est mourir un
peu, the French say and in analogy with that you can say that dying
is saying goodbye a little bit, cause that's what it is. For the ones
that stay behind, the dying is the end, something that can't be undone.
And that is something humanity has trouble with in general. Man shall
always look for something to improve things for himself, his countrymen,
to smoothen the path or turn things back. Dying is the only certainty
we have on earth, but when you have the possibility to see that from
a wider point of view, you'll realise that it sure is possible to 'do
something about the dying'. And that is, amongst other things, forgiving.