Running Fox Papers
September 2003 ~ Making Choices
I love You. You know that?
I love You. You know that?
Because of my illness – I told you about it earlier – it was my intention not to publish a ‘papers’ during September. However I came back to that decision when I realized that the story I wrote about two months ago entitled: “Beyond the River,” coheres magnificently to the choices I was allowed to make five weeks ago: “Are you coming Home, or do you want to stay?”
Furthermore I realized that the ‘Beacons of Light’ the ‘Group,’ as they are circulated by Steve Rother, joins in perfectly in the sense that, because of the thinning of the veils, it is easier for all of us to contact directly those who – so to speak – ‘dwell on the other side.’
In addition I want to share a story from the hand of Myriah Krista Walker: “A Blue Bird Makes A Choice,” which also connects magnificently to this subject.
Therefore this belated September edition of ‘Running Fox Papers’ I hope will incite some deep thinking within yourself.
Pertaining to the website I can
tell you that at last I have been able to add the overdue March edition
of “Running Fox Papers.” It is entitled: “Tales birds have to tell,”
and is to be found at: papers0303e.htm
You carry a backpack. In it are three things. The first item is food, because you may not be able to find anything to eat. The second item is boots in case the road becomes too slippery or overgrown with thorns and bushes, so you will be able to protect your feet.
The third item, the heaviest burden you carry, is your past. Some of the things in your pack from the past you reflect upon with happiness. Yet there are other things that fill you with shame or worry, or even dismay, and you do not very much like remembering them. There are even items in the bag from the past that you seem to have forgotten, maybe they marked too much of an imprint on your soul, and therefore they appear to be hidden in the mists of forgetfulness.
The heaviest burdens, though, are those that have become one with your soul. Memories that come and go and hamper you when you least expect. Memories which you try to get rid of as soon as possible. When these memories come up, your road seems to twist and turn, journeying up and down murky slopes, and you feel as though you are lost and without any support. You feel so very alone and can hardly breathe. At this point along the trail it always feels as though your destination is forever blocked off from you
But that is not the case. You are never alone. You are never alone. There are always those around you that help, give guidance, and show a way through that is possible.
Then unexpectedly across your path you come upon this swiftly flowing river that seems to block your way. You can see a mossy bank on the other side, and many colored trees over laden with fruit. There are animals trotting about beneath a mild sun, with trees giving shadow to all the beings that are gathered there.
There is only one question that comes up in your mind: how to get there? The river is swollen, and too deep and fast to wade across. You look around and find a long broad branch of a nearby tree that has fallen upon the ground. A little further lie a few wooden planks someone has left behind and some rope, but no other tools are available.
You sit down on a small knoll near the shore and start thinking. With the planks and rope you could make a raft, but it would be too small to hold you. You could place the branch over the river, but with the weight of you and your backpack, the branch would not be strong enough to support you.
It becomes clear that there are choices to be made. The big question you already have answered. You have to go to the other side. You feel it is of the greatest importance. How to get there is another thing.
You look at lightening the load in your pack. The first choice to be made is: “do I need the food that I have with me, any more?” And your answer is no. The abundance of food on the other side makes the three crumps of bread that are left useless. So you decide to throw one scrap into the waters. You do so and see a fish catching it, and you know that the hungry fish is happy and thankful for this food. Then you throw the second titbit into the air, where it is caught by a seagull. You place the last bit of bread on the ground, where many happy ants take it away. You know that all this food has reached its goal and for that you are glowing with pleasure.
Now there is a second choice to be made. What to do with the boots? The other side is covered with a soft mossy soil, so you do not need them any more. You decide to leave the boots behind for anyone who may be in need of them. You know that you have made a good decision.
At last there is a final big decision to be made. You realize you can only reach the other shore if you let go of the burden of everything hidden in your bag: all the memories of the past that are still hampering you. Furthermore, you understand that you would not be in need of your past on the other side. That notion gives you a warm feeling inside. It is a feeling of love - light and liberating - full of peace and harmony.
The thought enters your mind. “I could make a little raft upon which I could place the knapsack.” So you make this little raft, and when it is ready, you put your bag upon it. You bless it, thanking all the actions of the past for what they have meant for you and you tell them that you are no longer in need of anything. You send your past out on the waves and watch as it goes further and further away, until finally it vanishes in the void.
You feel so very light, and peaceful. You feel so beautiful now, because you know that all the burdens of the past won’t hinder you any more. You thank the creator that you have been so lucky to experience this wonderful past. Indeed you are able to remember it, and yet it no longer obstructs you in any way. With joy you cry out with glee and happiness to be so free.
Now it is time to really cross the river. You place the branch over it, and suddenly at that moment the waters are not so swollen any more. The waves diminish and the surface becomes smooth. You smile as you realise that if you’d but try, you would be able to walk upon the waters to the other side of the river. But then you understand there still is a bit of the old you left in your system and you decide to walk upon your self-made bridge.
At the moment you reach the other shore you can see X, who hastens to greet you. He/she embraces you and says: “Welcome, welcome to these shores.” You look around and see many people there who have come to say hello. Many of them you recognize in a glance, others seem familiar but you are unable to remember their names. All of them are emanating love to you and you feel quite joyful and thankful. Nevertheless, you are confused. “What lands are these?,” you ask. “Am I passed over? Is this heaven?” Because it feels so different here from anything else you have experienced during your life, this surely cannot be earth, where everything is so much heavier and less colourful.
“Oh no,” replies X. “This is merely another plane of existence, but because of the fact that you made your big decision just moments ago, you are now able to see everything literally in a different light. You are more able now to see the good within other people. You used to look at the so called negative side of the medal, but now you are more open-minded and able to live your life in a more relaxed way than before.” “All of us here congratulate you that you have made it possible to make this move. You can be proud of yourself for making this great decision. Of course there have been a few tools that helped you and were needed to get you across, but these tools, and all the other equipment that has been handed to you during your life, has been just that, tools. Tools, which are useless without a hand capable to use them.”
“And now, my dear one, I ask you
to enter your new life. Greet all these people gathered here, and tell
them that from now on you are going to encounter them in your new way.
The way of the place beyond the river…”
A Blue Bird Makes A Choice
I t was a fine July morning in the Colorado Rockies. I was busy cleaning my cabin when I heard a squawk outside, followed by the sight of my silver cat, Echo, streaking across the yard. I knew she had caught the large blue jay I'd seen flying past the kitchen window just moments before.
Dashing out the door, I discovered I was right. I quickly closed the "cat window" that I normally keep open so she can come and go freely, thus preventing her from bringing the bird into the cabin. I then captured her outside the front door. She held the bird, still alive, clamped in her jaws. Its eyes looked wild and frightened.
I knew I couldn't pry her teeth apart. I already knew the sharpness and power of her ivories, and I wasn't sticking my fingers in her mouth again! One usually only makes that mistake once in a lifetime, and I'd already done that during another experience that summer.
I spoke without forethought.
"I ask the Hand of God to release this One from her jaws," I said out loud and with authority, clutching the cat with vice-grip fingers. I needed some kind of help to release the bird. And so it was. Echo momentarily loosened her jaws, giving me a very surprised look, and in that nano-second the bird freed itself, while I whisked Echo away and tossed her into the cabin.
The bird was alive, yet in shock. I found a place to sit in the grass and held the warm blue feathered one gently in my hands. I envisioned myself to be an angelic form that the bird could handle. I telepathically asked spirit to make myself appear to the bird in a way that was not frightening to it. I wanted to heal the bird, and the last thing I wanted to do was scare it more.
The bird looked directly into my eyes, its heart beating wildly, but there was no fear! None at all! I felt a very clear understanding from the bird. This “knowing” told me the bird knew it was in the state of in-between life and death. It could choose life or death, and was well aware of that power, as was I, for as a hands-on healer, I knew the energy of Divine Love was capable of healing the bird IF IT SO CHOSE TO BE HEALED.
So, the bird and I told each other of these things in a silent sort of way, the way humans and birds converse, by thought and picture. So beautiful was this One, royal blue and black with a top notch of short black feathers, that I didn’t know if it was male or female, and it didn't matter.
I held the bird carefully, trying not to let my hands bring too much warmth and sweat and oil to its feathers. As I moved it gently about, inspecting for wounds, its eyes and head followed me like a magnet. I felt the awareness of soul, and momentarily I heard the bird’s thought. It had expected to feel fear at this moment of the in-between, and it was surprised not to be feeling it! The bird now realized there was never anything to fear, and I felt it relax in my hands. I was amazed that birds had such ideas.
The thought came to me then of other people upon the planet wishing to depart. Just that morning I had learned of a friend who had attempted suicide the night before, but she had changed her mind and chosen life. This bird in my hands represented the choice with which we are all so freely blessed.
We sat together several long silent moments, simply gazing at each other with purest Love and open Hearts. There was no agenda other than to simply share the essence of ourselves. My only focus was BE-ing a Source of Love and Light.
By this time the bird was used to my presence, and I could inspect it with more detail. Gently moving its feathers, I found a small puncture wound on the birds’ chest. It’s body remained frozen and in shock, as is the way of birds, yet its head followed my every move. So delicate is their nature, the mere onset of emotional difficulty makes their bodies suspend into shock. At this state, they are on the edge of the veils, between life and death, and great care is necessary. Being a cat owner with many birds around, I've helped many feathered friends make the choice to stay or depart. Always, it is their choice, not mine. As I sat holding the blue bird, I remembered one such time.
Last summer I found a baby swallow on the river road. It had fallen from its nest. The mud swallows build their nests on the underside of cliffs, and there was a nice rock overhang next to the road. However, sometimes the babies got too heavy for their nests before they learned to fly, and fell to their deaths. Sometimes they did not pass right away, and so it was one day as I went for a walk and found a tiny one upon the ground, still alive. I sat upon the ground and cradled it in my hand, feeling its Heart beat calm and settle as I gave it the energy of Peace and Gentleness. I visualized a blanket of tender Love and Light cloaking its little form, and simply sat with it until it gently closed its eyes and I felt its soul pass on.
All these thoughts the blue bird gathered from within me like books in a library, for I had allowed spirit to speak through me, and spirit told the bird "ask whatever you need and all that you Desire is here for you." Just as I had wanted to know about the bird, the bird was learning of me. Now the bird understood that I was a healer, for the bird looked within my mind, and saw my power, and saw my gifts. And the bird “saw” the pictures of other birds I had helped to stay or to cross over.
I placed my left hand under its breast, and I felt a gentle healing heat coming off my flesh and into the bird. Using visualization, I directed a tiny beam of Light at the fang puncture upon its breast. With birds this work is delicate. With humans or larger animals, I can blast a larger amount of healing Light, but birds are delicate and fragile. Just a wire's width of Light was all that was necessary to weave and direct into the wound. There was a tad of blood, but it was not a mortal wound IF THE BIRD CHOSE IT SO.
This healing Light can as well be used by the receiver to pass on and depart the Earth plane. At this point, I was still unsure if the bird wished to stay or pass over. I continued to weave Love and Light about its body and into the wound until I sensed that it had received all it could handle. In doing healing work, there is an inner knowing when the patient had received enough.
By this time, the hummingbirds in the yard had become curious about this human-bird connection. They made several low passes over us as we sat together in the grass. Many of these hummingbirds had experienced healing in my hands as well. Year after year, as they return each summer, our friendship deepens. Now the hummingbirds are friendly, and often perch right next to me, completely without fear. On this day, as they flew over us, I knew they were most likely sending their support to the blue bird.
We continued to converse in silent feeling tones, sending and receiving gentle waves of Love from our soul Hearts. The bird’s legs were stiff and had closed around a small grass stem. I could not open them. Slowly, after about 10 minutes, I was able to prop the bird into a sitting position in my hands. Clutching the blade of grass gave the bird the impression it was sitting upon a branch. The only movement from the bird was its head, although everything else seemed to be in working order. It was the shock of the situation that kept its body frozen. I hoped the bird would be able to recover.
Now I let my healer’s eyes scan deeper within, and I began to look within the heart of the bird, finding the Beloved One within, that Gentle Presence that is within all beings, the essence that is everlasting and eternal. And I beheld the Presence of the Beloved within, and I beheld pure Love looking back at me. It was an energy and Presence of Love and Light, the soul of this dear one - so clear and true, so undeniably real and tender. And I felt this one’s soul sending me Love in return! All else momentarily disappeared except for our hearts and the Love we saw within each other’s eyes. It was an exquisite moment when we became One. Though one of us was formed of flesh, and one feathers, in that moment of sharing soul Love, there was no difference.
With gentle fingers, I caressed the bird and the idea of the Beloved within. The bird then straightened out a little, and I was able to hold it more upright in my hands. Then Love flashed from its eyes, enough to make my own eyes tear at the sight, and suddenly it burst from my hands and took flight! With strength and purpose it landed in a nearby juniper bush. Intuitively I quickly checked the bird, sending my healer’s eyes within and scanning the wound. I felt that the bird had experienced complete and total healing, and would be fine.
I sent another visual wave of gentle Love to the bird, and a wave of Love was returned to me as it squawked from its perch. I had just received payment for my services, and the bird was now free to journey, ever on. And so it was.