Each of us spends a large part of the day doing the same repetitive tasks... taking a bath, eating, working, using the evening hours to enjoy friends or family, listening to music, dancing, yoga, and certain maintenance jobs such as washing dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc. At first glance, it appears that we don't have much time to stop and make life-changing choices.
But that is just what appears at first glance. What is really happening throughout the day is a constant shifting vision of choices. And within these choices are decisions to be made by you. Authentic action means that you are in complete integrity within yourself in all that you do. Authentic action allows no hidden agendas. It demands complete honesty.
I had the opportunity to watch Barbara Streisand on the Oprah Show (Dec.26th, 2003). The conversation turned to the question of how she felt turning 50 years old. She was reflective for a moment, and then shared she did not like turning 50, she was fine with 30, ok with 40, but did not much like turning 50. However, having said that, she said that in reality she has settled into an awareness that feels elevating and freeing. ("I feel less stifled, and I compromise more").
Just stop for a moment and think about that. Stifle less... compromise more. I find it an extremely important, and freeing concept. If we are truly free to express, and create, and Be just who we are, then there is no longer a feeling of being shut down, or stifled. However, to be truly strong and steadfast, we must need to feel validated without outside recognition. So who does the validation? You do. You know yourself best. You know when you are feeling fulfilled, you know when you are feeling ’less than’, and you know when you are feeling disconnected.
The goal, I believe, is to find your own centre, your secure place. The knowing part of you. And once you do, you must work only from that centre point in all you do. That is what I mean by being ’in the Space‘.
You can't do your best from someone else's space. It has to be your ’own Space. The best part of this is, that when you are ’in your space‘, everything is easy. Did you ever play golf, or bowl a game when you couldn't miss? Never before, and maybe never again, did you do so well. Think about how that felt. There was no funny twist, or glitch, or clutch in your body. Everything moved smooth as silk. In the Space. Everything smooth and easy.
Well, I think experience helps us into the Space. Life moves more smoothly, material things lose their glamour, rushing doesn't seem like a virtue, and we finally understand what is meant by ’don't sweat the small stuff.’ It is like the willow in the wind. It can flow with breeze, or bend in the strong wind, and still remain intact. But, the stauncher, solid trees can tend to break off, sometimes just a branch, and sometimes the whole tree snaps off right across the middle. When you are strong, and secure within yourself, you no longer have to shout your truths. You know who you are. So, you can sit back calmly, and allow.
Allow others their choices (without needing to provide your daily input). Allow others to share their concerns (without needing to provide your guidance). Allow others to suggest, or ask, something of you (without needing to refuse just to prove you can hold your ground).
The little compromises we make each day, the giving actually reveal an inner strength, for it is a reflection of our consciousness that to compromise does not diminish us. Compromise does not mean giving up, or giving in. It just means giving. Often the giving that we are asked to do is very small, especially in the frame of the bigger picture. Yet when we are not secure within, it is not the size that causes the discomfort, it is the act itself.
I have learned that by listening more, and talking less, there is an ease in social contacts. I am never without a story to share, but when I listen, watch, and connect energetically, rather than vocally, there is an elevation to the experience. What joy to discover that I can decline to do something that doesn't attract me. And what joy I find in the simple things I do choose to do. The simple tasks of folding brochures, playing with my daughter, no longer have a sense of hurry about them. I did things slower, and savour each one more. I find that I trust myself more. The pinnacle of wisdom, really isn't about age.
It seems so silly to wait until we reach a mythical age of wisdom (the Indigo & Crystal children are not waiting), before we trust ourselves. I invite you to move into 2005 along with me, accepting yourself more, listening more, talking less, being present more, and just enjoying life to its fullness.