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Mara in Neveralwaysland

Mara Oldenburg

Introduced by Hans Brockhuis
Translation: Helen Maijenburg

The Nada Chronicles, part 41

Running Fox Home

Not so long ago I received a message from Mara, one of my readers from the beginning. During the years we have exchanged some emails in which she asked me somewhat personal questions which I answered as good as possible. But that was all.

This email announced she had a story that would probably fit the site of Running Fox. Unfortunately she didn’t have the time to write it down, but we agreed to meet each other in the restaurant of Leiden Station. She expected to need an hour to disclose her story.

I was fascinated by this slightly mysterious message and after some email exchange, day and hour was set. On my question how I would recognize her she stated she would recognize me. After all on the portal page of Running Fox sits a picture of me.

That morning in ‘La Place Restaurant; I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at the there, I looked around. It wasn’t crowded but there were a few people. But which of them was Mara? As nobody rose I sat down at a window table overlooking the entrance and waited for the things to come.

I didn’t have to wait long. A little bit later a rather tall lady arrived. She looked around and resolutely sailed across the room to me. Affectionately she shook my hand “hi Hans, long time no see!”

Saying Mara was a beauty is an understatement. She is tall and I had to look up to her. She was dressed in a grey suit and she was carrying a full briefcase and a laptop. She was wearing her wavy dark hair over her shoulders and her pleasant face radiated. Her glance was top of the bill. Fathomless amber-coloured eyes sparkled right at me. I noticed that behind those eyes many experiences must be hidden. In short, with this Mara I’d like to drink a cup of tea.

Later she told me she was 36 and she travels through the country hither and thither to accompany companies with bringing their people and working environment into a top condition. As she had a very busy job she didn’t find the time to write down the stories she found worth to tell. This hour was purposefully planned because she thought others might find it their cup of tea too and that’s why she had thought of this solution to tell her story to me personally. I asked if I could record it with my own tape recorder. She had no objections.


Mara launched out:

“You can’t see it, but two years ago I was severely ill. I was on Intensive Care recovering from a difficult operation and as I heard later it was nearly my death. During the operation there was a moment the doctors wouldn’t give a dime for my life and actually lost courage.”
“To me it was completely different. I can’t remember much from the car accident. One moment I was driving the highway in a rented Saab, the next moment I woke up in the hospital somewhere in The Netherlands looking into the worried eyes of my Friend Jochem. ”

”Physically speaking I can’t remember anything from the time in between. On another level much has happened that I want to tell you Hans and the readers of Running Fox.”

“While the doctors were working on me to heal me there was a moment I felt a soft hand on my shoulder. That hand was connected to an overwhelming feeling of love. Warmth and blessedness flowed through my body and before I knew I was looking from an angle in the surgery down on a group of doctors working hard on an in a white sheet covered figure at the surgery table. It took a while before I realized it was me who was lying there. It surely was a remarkable feeling!”

”At that moment I was aware again of that feeling of beneficence that washed through me. Words flowed into my mind: “Dear Mara” I heard “do you realize you have met with a severe car accident and the doctors are doing their utmost to help you back on your feet?” I looked around me. Who could have spoken those words? But I didn’t see anything, I only felt. I realized I found myself in a higher state of consciousness. Perhaps I had died. I read about it but it never occurred to me it could happen to me.”

”Again the voice spoke: ”Dear Mara. Perhaps you like to go with me on a trip to far away distances. The doctors who are assisted by beings they and you cannot see at this moment are busy working to patch you up. And although the state of being you’re in now doesn’t know time, it is a good occasion to experience some adventures if you want, you would keep for incredible to this moment. They will bring you back to spheres you dwelled before. In addition to that you will see again some loved ones who made the journey before to what you call “above”.”

“I can tell you Hans” said Mara “I was dumbfounded at the least. I’ve read your story about Judith and the conversations you had with her, but this was something completely different. Nevertheless I wanted to know more. “Hello there, whoever you are, where would you want to take me to; who are you and will I come back, for I was on my way for an appointment and I take it I cannot use my cell phone over there?”

”The presence seemed to snigger. “Many questions in one sentence, Mara. It is hard to explain who I am. Many of the aspects of your Self, from your guardians, from some angels which have put on your faith, your Creator and some more are found in this identity. And no, you cannot use your cell phone over here. And no worries, your friend has been notified and is on his way to the hospital. He will cancel your appointments. I can tell you Jochem is worried sick but will perceive in the end all will work out well and that you can clasp each other in your arms very soon. And were we’re heading? With your sense of humour you might call it ´Neveralwaysland´.”

“Hmm, Neveralwaysland”. I tasted the word on my thoughts and had to admit it fitted my way of thinking. I am a pigheaded woman what you can agree Hans. I don’t like to wander beaten paths.”

“Again the voice spoke: “Mara, are you coming with me? I promise you to bring you back in shipshape.” Of course I came along. Even for the satisfaction of my curiosity I would. My heart glowed; I was filled with very intense feelings. Love, expectation, brilliance, you name it. And all that despite the fact that the whole world around me faded. Everything was solved as it were in a ravel of feelings which seemed to have no beginning nor an end. For a moment I panicked. What was all this about. We started to move and I noticed we accelerated faster and faster. Whereto? How was I to know? A variety of thoughts, impressions, imprints, feelings and sensations went through me in an ever faster going motion. It actually looked as if many events that happened in my life passed in review. But all was pointed out in a soft way, surveyed in a way. But no reactions against them. Beautiful events but also less beautiful events came by. Without giving judgement, just accepting what had taken place, that was all.”

“In the distance a pin-head of light came into sight. Bigger and more intense the light became until finally – although it seemed to takes ages – there came an end to the tunnel and suddenly I found myself on a sloping green pasture with a view on a peaceful valley. Hans, when I tell you it is stunning over there; it is the understatement of the year. Such beauty; flowers in the most magnificent colours of which many I have never seen before. This was The Keukenhof to the tenth power.
I stood there for quite some time and tried to sort out my thoughts. Finally I came to rest although I hadn’t realized the initial agitation at first. Gone were my doubts. My soul was filled with calmness, with love and with compassion for what had happened to me. In a corner of my mind there was room for my friend Jochem; I knew I would see him back very soon as the ´Voice´ told me. I noticed I trusted that Voice unconditionally.”

“I had read that when you pass the great border your loved ones would be there to see you. To my surprise I didn’t see a living soul. I was all alone. Nothing moved. There wasn’t a wind blowing and the only thing I heard was the murmur of a hidden stream between the trees at the bottom of the slope. When I realized that,I was overrun by a wave of homesickness. My calmness I was so proud of had totally gone. Jochem, my parents, the apartment I lived in, my cat, my work, where were they? Would I ever see them back? Again I panicked and again I felt that reassuring hand on my shoulder.”

“Dear Mara, you are never alone, never!” Have a good look around you: let your consciousness expand to the feeling of love I am giving you” And again it looked as if my heart was on fire. No destructive fire, but a loving fire full of compassion and suddenly my grandmother stood before me who passed away sixteen years ago. I loved her so dearly and I still missed her.”
”I fell in her arms, crying with happiness. “Gran” I said, “how good it is to see you again. Are you alright? You look beautiful in your blue garment. I have often been thinking of you and I knew you were so near to me. Sometimes I was afraid but when the clock stopped ticking I knew you were close by to help me and to take care of me. And all was well…” I now realize I told her so much more but I can’t remember now. It went on and on, as if a heavy burden fell off my shoulders. And in one endless stream of thoughts and sentences I seemed to be able to oppress all decelerations that apparently were still there. The posture of trust and of “I can handle the whole world” was at that time no more than a thin layer of varnish.”

”And all that time my Gran and I stood there arms around each other and my tears ran down my cheeks. “My dear child Mara, calm down dear girl.” With a loving gesture my grandmother wiped away the wet hairs from my face and dried my tears. “It is good your emotions found a way out” she said. You met with a severe car accident and although you apparently do not remember, this whole happening caused an enormous impact on your soul. That emotion just went out. Are there more tears?,” she asked. “Do let them come, that clears the air.” Gran took me by the upper arms and looked at me from a distance. “How beautiful a girl you have become. You have grown from the fragile and vulnerable birdie you were, into a beautiful young woman. A crane that can handle everything and the entire world. I am so proud of you …”


Suddenly Mara looked at her watch and seemed to startle. “Hans” she said, “I really have to go. My train leaves in a minute and I have an important appointment. Can we handle the rest of the story in a next session?” I’ll be emailing you!”

In an instant she was gone, leaving me behind in a confused way of having the proof of her frank and free torrent of words on tape. Coming home I noticed her words were almost without wording suitably to be put to paper. And this is the result.
In the meantime Mara made a new appointment by email and this time we will meet again in the same restaurant. I am really curious to hear more of her adventures in “Neveralwaysland”.